“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Like a lot of people, I am very hard on myself. Unfairly so sometimes. This can be helpful, as it keeps me on track, however, occasionally it pushes me over the edge - right into a slump (or something like the trough of sorrow as it’s known).

Are you familiar with the feeling? I was not myself, I temporarily lost my vision and it felt like nothing I was doing was making sense to me. Until boom, I hit the reset button by having a frank conversation with my best friend… 

Me.

Have you ever given great advice to a friend, advice that has shifted their life for the better? I’m sure you have, I have done. You’re a good friend and your words provided an insight that your friend could not see at the time. It helped them move from one state of mind to another. You got them on track and in action, lifting their spirits so they could move on.

Why then do we constantly ignore our own advice in favour of another person’s perspective? A lot of the time, we know the answers to our questions but we don’t trust our own judgement. Why do we trust ourselves to help others, but ignore our own advice?

There is ‘another self’ that lives with us, all day, every day. Some call it the 'little voice’ in our heads (I call it a screaming, jumping, shouting voice because there is nothing little about the running commentary), a voice that is hard to ignore and can swing to either extremes. It can make you an over confident ego maniac or a manic depressive, depending on what you are telling yourself.

"You idiot! Why did you say that? You’re just not good enough. That was so dumb… why would you do that?” Sound familiar? Why, why, why do we say these things to ourselves when we would probably never say those things to a best friend in need of our help? Those words aren’t helpful to anyone! Nor are they constructive. It’s time to control the voice.

Advice to a good friend is usually a balanced, constructive and actionable. For example. “OK, you didn’t get the job but its fine. It does not necessarily mean you are not good enough for the role, you were probably not the right personality fit. Let’s review your resume and interview techniques for next time. Everything happens for a reason and you’ll look back at this moment from your new job and say 'thank you, I’m so glad I never got that job’. It will happen, stick it out!”

Let’s harness the compassion, the clarity, the imagination and direction we have for others, for ourselves. Be your own best friend. Be your own cheerleader! Make it a bit easier for yourself. Be a bit easier on yourself. Stop giving yourself such a hard time! Start giving yourself the benefit of the doubt. I was stuck in a slump and this was the one thing that helped, it’s like a reset button and can supercharge your life.

Here’s a vision that might help:

Imagine you are about to give a talk to 10,000 people. You are backstage and you have one minute until show time. Nervous? I am just thinking about it. But here is where it’s important. There is no time to doubt yourself right now, to be hard on yourself. Because in 60 seconds (probably 45 seconds now) you are going to move and inspire 10,000 people or be a mute mess on stage. So what is best to do in this moment? Being your own best friend, cheering yourself on, gearing yourself up, amplifying your best self! Raise your energy and position yourself to be the best you can be. Why? That is the only thing that will help right now, nothing else matters, only loving yourself. 

When you hear that anxious voice creep up on you, your 'inner hater’ screaming and shaming you, just think, you’ve got 60 seconds until showtime & the only thing that matters is boosting your own confidence, sending yourself love. Just as you would act if your best friend was about to go on stage, be your own best friend.

You can do it. You’re awesome. Nothing else matters. 

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” - Nido Qubein

It’s been awhile. I’ve been going through some stuff and promised myself only to write when I come out on the other side, I want my words to empower; not to simply express self-woe. That’s not really helpful to anyone is it? 

Starting a new year is exciting, it can feel like a fresh start. If only that really felt true though. The truth is, the present is made up of our past decisions, successes and mistakes and at the start of the year, the present smacked me in the face.

Why am I not further along? Why am I still in this spot!? Why am I not where I said I would be when I was younger? I’ve failed myself. 

But then it hit me.. Why do I value the opinion of my younger self more than I do of my adult self? The child me made up wild and specific goals for my life. Have a house by 25, travel the world by 30 etc. Married with kids etc. Financially free. All of that by now. I’m so behind to the ideas I created for myself.

Does everyone feel like this? Maybe not, as there are people out there exceeding all kinds of expectations. I wonder what that feels like? This is a serious case of keeping up with the Jones’.

Even though I beat myself up everyday for not having achieved these things, I realised my younger self had absolutely no idea what adult life consisted of.. what the state of play is, what real responsibility is and how things work in the ‘real world’ (remember adults saying those two dreaded words?) Real world? Me? Nah, I’m going to do it *this* way.

On that day my younger self made time based goals, giving myself enough time to make it happen. And with zero research/experience/data to go on, my younger self simply made them up, and I have stuck to these ideas ever since.
  
The problem is, the adult me still values the opinion of my younger self and to this day I’ll look at the calendar and say “I’m behind”. In reality though, what am I behind on? Only my own ideas. In reality, I’m not ‘behind’ at all. I’m playing the hand I have, everyday and making the best of it.

However, the older I get, the harder it is to ignore the progression of those around me. Everyone is getting married, buying houses, having kids, winning awards, breaking records, starting and selling business.. straight killing it! I’m proud and happy for them all but some days I’m just here like.. damn. When is it my turn?

The adult me has experienced a lot of life and its crevices, and I have navigated along the way making my dreams a reality. My younger self played video games and went to school - THAT’S IT. I had all the time in the world to think and imagine back then. Now the majority of my time is spent being in action.

I’ve spoken to a few friends about this and it seems the ideas or rules we make up as young adults stick with us even when they’re completely irrelevant, outdated or misinformed. I’ve said to myself “I always said I would not do X” - “I promised myself I would do Y”, but I’ve had to take a step back and ask myself, did my younger self have any clue about life to be making those kinds of statements?

Surely, now I have the experience I can make a new rules for myself. Or, perhaps success is so close I cannot see it? I hope so. You should too :)

“That which makes you different, is what makes you special. So, If you have something that’s different then continue to work on that and push that. If it’s ever going to work for you, it’s gonna be when you’re being the purest version of you.” — Pharrell Williams

Here one minute, gone the next. Life can often give us harsh reminders that we are not here indefinitely. People have had their lives stolen from them by other humans in recent terrorist attacks all over the world and it has got me asking the question: What is your true calling?

The reason I ask this particular question is that in our lives, the path we follow is our choice. If we really wanted to, we could completely change our direction. Where you are right now is a result of the choices you have made in the past. Where you will be in the future will be a result of the choices you make today. While we are here we have the power to choose to live a life of true purpose. I want to make sure as many people as possible are making the choice to live a life of true purpose. What is your mission?

It sounds cliche to say ‘live every day like it’s your last’, however, I think most of us have misunderstood the concept. It is easy to think this means spend all your money, quit your job, travel the world without a care. Upon reflection, I think it means being mindful of how we spend the one thing we can never get more of, time. I think it means we need to spend our time living. Celebrating. Loving. Laughing. Dreaming. Helping others. Appreciating the small things. Enjoying uneventful days. Enjoying good health. Being the best versions of ourselves. To me, that is living everyday like its your last.

Sorry to be morbid here but the reality is we can be gone any minute. And sadly when you’re gone, your ideas and dreams die with you. What potential do you have that you are not fulfilling? What would die with you if you died today? What do you still have to give? How many people could you help, effect, impact? There is no time to wait around, start living your truth now!

It’s time to follow your true mission and your heart and gut will tell you what that is. We should aim to spend every waking minute living authentically. Being true to yourself and following your true calling. There is not enough time in your life to wait. Give to others, help people, start that business you’ve always wanted to do, volunteer, complete your bucket list, write that book, express the ideas you have, tell that person you love them, squash that beef, do the things you’ve always wanted to do, go for the impossible! Most importantly, HAVE NO REGRETS! Life is short, yes, it is but it’s also the longest thing we’ll ever do. So with that oxymoron, what do you want to spend your time doing?

We must celebrate everyday of our lives by being grateful for the life we have and using it for good purpose. That is what we owe to anyone that has had their lives taken away from them by the hands of another human. This is what we owe to ourselves.

Anybody reading this has the gift of life today and it is our duty to live it fully. Life is going to be a challenge whatever direction you choose, you may as well choose to live a life you love.

Life is literally too unpredictable for you to spend your time being something that you are not.

It is time to live now. Live authentically. Live your truth.

“Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, now you have a motivated idiot.” ― Jim Rohn

It has been a while. I decided to take the advice from my last post and only write when I really felt the urge to. In my mind I want to post every couple of weeks, but sometimes the thoughts just aren’t there and my little voice says ‘don’t force it’. Is it a cop out? Maybe, but it sure feels easier doing the writing when I feel the urge. Its funny, the pressure I’ve put on myself. No one is making me write these, yet when I’m not writing or sharing I feel like i’m not doing the job I set out to do here. I imagined that I’d send out a post every couple weeks, share and promote them and my email list and audience would grow and grow. This hasn’t happened (yet). I think because my action has not matched/exceeded the thoughts I had about it. 

Forget thinking positively. Act positively. Positive thinking alone hasn’t got me anywhere. For me, positive thinking is the necessary start to a ton of action.

Simply thinking positively has not done anything great on its own for me. I need to act positively. Also, by acting positively, thinking positively is a natural by product. I spend around 5% of my waking day thinking positive. That’s about an hour in the morning as part of my morning routine (being grateful, visualIsing, meditating, exercising, learning & writing) The rest of the 95% is being in positive action doing impactful thing that will make a big difference in my life and others. 

I may be wrong and I often am, however I see many people stumble upon 'positive thinking’ or 'the law of attraction’ and convince themselves that just by thinking, they’ll attract what they want. I misunderstood this very early on in life and I’m glad I learnt the distinction quickly. Positive thinking is important, but it's only the start. It’s putting the destination into your sat nav. But merely putting the destination won’t bring the destination to you, YOU must to go to it, you drive the vehicle to your destination. You can absolutely do this, you just need to get moving. 

Let me give you some context. I am going through a very transformative period of my life right and I am moving forward to some very big goals of mine. Using everything i’ve learnt from my journey so far, I decided to start this transformation by giving myself a task, answering this question: If success was absolutely rigged in your favour, what would you be, do and have? What do you want? Write down 60 goals. (20 financial goals / 20 possession goals / 20 personal development goals) The purpose here was to get really excited and clearly outline what it is i’m going for. It sets the bar in my mind and it’s the biggest I can think right now. 

The second task: Who are you? Write one short and clear affirmation of the grandest vision of yourself. The purpose here is to summarise the person you see yourself being so you can repeat it to yourself. I tasked the same to my partner and we sat over dinner, sharing our goals and hashing out the best way to succinctly describe our powerful affirmations. After hashing out our affirmations (which were quite vague to begin with) we challenged ourselves to describe other people. How would you describe Serena Williams? Serena Williams is the worlds #1 tennis player (or from Wikipedia: Serena Jameka Williams is an American professional tennis player who is ranked No. 1 in women’s singles tennis. The Women’s Tennis Association has ranked her world No. 1 in singles on six separate occasions.) Now of course, that is not all she is but if an alien landed in front of me and asked me to quickly describe what/who Serena Williams is, that would be a great enough answer to at least open the conversation with. 

Michael Jackson was the Greatest Entertainer of our time (no debate here, this is fact lol). Lionel Messi is the best football player on earth (sorry Cristiano). Tim Ferriss is the leading teacher in lifestyle design and life hacks. Tony Robbins is the best life Strategist. David Beckham is a superstar football player & model. Drake is a record breaking hip hop artist. J K Rowling is a phenomenal best selling author.  The list goes on (try it.. It will help you describe yourself). 

The descriptions of others are super powerful. How do you want someone to describe you? Think big. Bigger. 

Here’s the biggest thing I can think of right now for myself. Embarrassing to share, but here goes: I, Ryan Nile, I am a phenomenal award winning artist, writer and entrepreneur. I am Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.

*Insert hand over eyes emoji* haha. For me, that excites the hell out of me because it means to me that I need to be of such impact and influence in my endeavours in music and business to make this a reality. It is completely possible. Completely difficult, but possible. This is not all I am or will be of course but right now it is how I want people to be able to describe me, at least as an opener. 

It can and will change as I adapt and as I grow. I’ll refine it and adjust it as I adjust my course. I’m even looking at it now thinking it could be more succinct, but it’s a start! More importantly, right now, it is the direction for me. Its the post-code and address I put in the sat-nav so I know exactly where I’m heading. Life is calculating the route and I am using my drive to see it through. 

So now I have my succinct powerful affirmation. The point of this post is this isn’t all 'positive thinking’. I believe in positive actions.. Think big, do bigger. My thoughts alone will not bring me closer. I must MAKE it so.

The third and fourth tasks, “What is your plan?” and “What are your commitments?” are all about action. The point is to be able to confidently answer the question “What is your plan?” by memorising a small paragraph of your plan, your next steps and your long term actions. “What are your commitments” outlines the things you will start doing now to make your plan real. It’s all about action. 

The fifth task is “What is your vision?”. Peter Thiel (founder of PayPal, first investor into Facebook) asks a great question which I’ll paraphrase: “what is your 10 year plan? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”. For most of us 10 years seems far away and we expect to have accomplished a lot in that time. Because of this we create “in order to’s” - i.e. in 10 years i’ll be in X position so I can do Y. 

Peter asks “how can you achieve your 10 year plan in 6 months?(Paraphrase).

Damn. That’s close. It’s no longer a pipe dream, it’s something I can and need to make actionable NOW. In 10 years it’ll still be a pipe dream. So start doing it NOW!

I now have a clear vision and I know the actions I need to do to take me there. I have big goals, I know who I am, I know my plan and my commitments to make it reality. 

The big thinking is done, now it’s time to do bigger.

P.S - One of my goals is to grow my audience and I need your help doing that. If this post or one of my previous has moved you in anyway, will you share it with two people you think would enjoy it? It would mean the world to me. 

P.P.S - are you interested in a PDF worksheet of the above steps?  Email me / tweet me @RyanNile and if there is enough interest I’ll make it for you guys. 

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”― Steve Martin

Skepta, a London artist who has been championed by superstars Drake and Kanye West this year said something very interesting in an interview recently:

“I want it to be organic. I’m not forcing it. I don’t wanna be one of those guys that meets Drake[sic] and tries to get a hit. It’s important that whatever we do is completely organic.”

I agree. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and what I know is that organic relationships and situations are always easy. Things just happen without you having to put in the extra work. It feels natural.

I used to see things I wanted and it was my instinct to push push push to make sure I get it… sometimes it would work but usually only at the point in which I let go and let life do its thing. Persistence creates resistance and that forced push can be felt by the very people you want to engage with. 

Think about a time where someone has tried to force you to do something or bugged you.. how did you react? Did you go for it or was it a turn off? It’s usually a big turn off. No matter what the endeavour, ‘seeming’ desperate is never attractive.

When we have specific intentions, a defined route, we add meaning. When we add meaning to things we restrict ourselves and our expression because we care so much about the end result. We make things mean a lot. When we do this we are not being our true selves and it’s that inauthenticity that usually breaks a situation or potential working relationship.

When it comes to connecting A to B, life knows better than we do. I believe when ‘A’ is good enough, ‘B’ will take care of itself. It’s a harsh viewpoint to take on sometimes because it really makes me look at myself or my work and demand that I do better when I’m not where I want to be. When ‘A’ is attractive enough to ‘B’ - ‘B’ will move towards ‘A’. 

Here’s an example: A year ago I decided I wanted to write for Elite Daily a publication with an audience of 70m readers. Ever since, I have been preparing articles to submit for publication. In the time being, I started this blog & newsletter to start getting my thoughts out to the world. Last week I went through the application process. A few hours later I got a response. I ignored it thinking it was an auto-responder. It wasn’t until the next day I read it properly and realised it was a 'Congratulations!’ email! Haha. I guess I did my thing and let the 'B’ take care of itself. 

I used to tire myself trying to swim to shore against the tide. Now i’m floating on the ocean of my reputation, my work and my word. I can feel it bringing me to shore.

Its organic, laid back & blissful. 

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of your relationships.”― Anthony Robbins

We get lost. We forget. We get bitter, confused. We get stuck in our heads. We question why we’re still together sometimes.

Well because I choose you, thats why.

Our love is powerful and precious. I choose you and you choose me, over and over again. Everyday. This is our pact. We decided to partner up to experience and create our life, together. We’re a team through the ups and downs, the ins and outs and all in between. I choose you for it all.

We are the centre of our universe. We are the core, and as long as we make sure that our core is full of magic and energy, everything else materialises. 

Our world is a product of us. Nothing is more important than this. No routine, no work, no future, no past, no other people, no other plans, not even family, not even kids. We, You and I are most important because our experience of everything else is the result of our union. Our lives are fuelled by our love, part me, part you. 

So if we ever get back into a place where we do not feel this power, it’s only ever because we haven’t put enough into it and we must remember this. Our love is powerful, but not on its own. Its powerful because we’ve made it that way, because we make it that way. Lets try and not get frustrated at the emptiness when its in our hands to fill it up. Yes, it’ll be hard in the moment but we’ll eventually get over our egos and remember that this is the only solution. Its up to us. 

We have it all to give: freedom, acceptance, passion, consideration, support, excitement, affection, abundance, respect. I promise to give it all to you. I will fail, I will forget and I’ll probably get comfortable. I’ll need your help, remember you empower me to give you all you deserve. Help me back to being the best me by being the best you. The best you is what brings the best out of me. I promise to do the same.

We are the core. Through thick and thin, I choose you.

“Any fool can have bad luck; the art consists in knowing how to exploit it.” - Frank Wedekind

Have you ever got a sense when something is approaching its end? Like you have a feeling about it, in the back of your mind. A fear almost. Then one day that fear is eventually realised. Say a job, or a project you’ve spent a lot of time and resources on. You feel the energy has changed and is no longer flowing like it usually was.. something isn’t right. Then boom, confirmation. Damn.

Your intuition was right, things HAVE changed, the state of play is different, you just weren’t privy to it until now. The cards have already been shuffled and you have been given your hand. Its the hand you didn’t want and now you have it.

What do I do? How will I play this and still win? How will I get to my goal? It is definitely possible, but definitely way harder. What I feared has become true, but really its only a reality I have been ignoring. A reality where I don’t have to rely on anything but myself to make sure that everything is taken care of. No reliance on clients, projects or jobs. No longer a slave to my work. But what must I do to make this a reality?

The reality that is being confronted is one of Independence. Independence from outside circumstances. How great would it be to honestly say ‘Meh.. that’s a shame, but it doesn’t matter, I’m good’. You know what I mean? No matter who you are, a high end football player, a steady 9-5er or a homeless person, there is still an ounce of reliance in the recipe. The football player hands their destiny to the team owner, the 9-5er hands control of their income to their boss and the homeless rely on generosity of the public. Its easy to have a false sense of security even though we know the plug can be pulled at any moment. 

Is there a reality where we don’t have to rely on others so we can fulfill our basic needs? Yes, I believe there is. Its certainly true for the few that the many work for. My philosophy is give value to the world. Enough value that even if you stopped everything today, the benefit of your value will reach you or your family 50, 100+ years later. Its not about the kickback, that’s just a good byproduct of giving enough value. Look at The Beatles, they provided so much joy to people with their music that their copyright is the gift that keeps on giving. Catch my drift?

I guess it would be easy for me to fold right now and change my game plan, but what seems like a bad hand right now could actually be the hand that eventually wins me the game. 

So, I’m not looking to change my hand at all. This bit of bad luck will just make the win even sweeter… :)

“Leap, and the net will appear.”
― John Burroughs

I went rock climbing on the weekend, something i’ve never done before. It was really fun and challenging. I strapped up, put on a harness, had a little orientation and got to it. Climbing up and getting back down requires your entire body, including your mind. Its challenging not only physically but mentally as you must stick to the coloured path you pick at the bottom. On the way up you must work out where to put your legs and arms in order to reach to target at the top. 

Getting to the top was fine for me, until I realised how high I climbed. You know in movies where the protagonist says ‘Don’t look down!’? Good advice. We were instructed to jump from the top, with the instructor assuring me that the harness would break the fall. I couldn’t do it. Instead I chose the more difficult path of climbing back down, working out the path backwards. I did this a few times until realising how ridiculous I was being. 

Why can’t I jump? Frustrated, I climbed up this time determined to jump from the top. Its amazing what fear can do to you, it’s like every time I went to leap, my body retracted and I stuck to the wall, Tom Cruise Mission Impossible style. Its the same feeling I get before jumping into a cold swimming pool or cold shower. Hesitant. The thing is, what I was doing here was totally counter-intuitive. The easier thing to do is to jump and trust that the harness would break the fall. I chose to grip onto what I thought was safe, but it was actually more taxing on my hands and legs, awkwardly gripping onto little boulders on the wall. I finally plucked up the courage to leap backwards, and guess what? It was fine. The harness did what it was designed to do, break my fall and carry me down safely. 

It sounds so silly to me that I froze because I see myself as courageous in so many other situations but in this new situation, an old fear reared its head.

As i’m an over thinker I immediately drew parallels to other parts of my life where I’ve done the climb but have not made the jump. What’s stopping me? Me. What’s stopping you? You.

Now I’m taking a leap, and funnily enough I am feeling the net appearing.

1, 2, 3.. Jump!

“I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” ― Jay-Z

Diversify. You are not your job. You can do more than one thing. You can be great at more than one thing. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking you can’t do something else, just because they can’t.

I’ll tell you how I got to this thought. You know how some people say ‘have you ever wanted something and got it, only to realise you don’t want it?’ well for a few years I got what I thought I wanted and did that one thing exclusively. Things can get boring and unvaried and that’s not for me. As one of my heroes Tim Ferriss said “Boredom is failure… Generalizing and experimenting prevents this, while over-specialization guarantees it.” Boy did I find this to be true.

In 2011 I bought into the stigma of being a full time musician and I validated that dream by signing a great publishing deal with the largest music publisher in the world, Sony/ATV. We (my production partner and I) had a few songs coming out, a few albums we were working on which was all good. I’ve had a lot of fun moments.. but the day to day reality was completely different. Being a music producer/writer can be incredibly isolating. I’m happy in my own company but after a few years of being in the studio all day, everyday, meeting new people every couple of days or not at all.. It got.. Boring. Yeah I said it. I wanted to get outside. Yeah, I was doing this one thing I love to do, everyday, but I realised 'doing this one thing isn’t enough’. There’s a whole lot of life out there and I want to live it and do what I love. Life goes on without you, family, friends, debts, tax, responsibilities. All are part of it and and if those aren’t all in balance, it can soon take the love and fun out of the very thing you’ve been putting all your heart and soul into. Through this four year journey of working in music ‘full-time’ I came to the conclusion that “You can do what you love, and not have the life you want. But it is possible to live the life you want, while doing what you love.”  It might take a sec to understand my Ry-isms but hopefully you get what I mean, essentially its about priorities.

After a tumultuous 2013-14 where a drop in income affected every area of my life, I swallowed every ounce of pride and asked for my old job back. I can’t describe how hard I thought that was and, conversely, how worth it it has been (btw, why do we make things hard for ourselves?). Nothing that would fit my new part time requirement was immediately available. Meanwhile, someone close to me gave me work as an electricians mate, even though I have zero experience in the field. After about 6 weeks of wiring up flats in Hackney, a project came up at my old job which I was a fit for. I got the call while drilling holes and started a couple weeks later. These two opportunities really saved my life and have really set the platform for me this year to get back on my feet. Thank you, I will always remember that. (you both know who you are!)

So now I’m back at my old job (part-time), i’m a published producer-writer, responsibilities are being taken care of and life is generally sooo much better. And you know what? The music is coming out better. Because i’m in a happier, better place, the art is purer. I’m back to making music for the pure joy of it again because I have widened my scope, building the life I want and the person I envision.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is do what you love, for the love of it. It’s not the only thing you can do and if you’re bored, diversify! (and it’s ok to be bored!) Remember Mum saying 'don’t put all your eggs in one basket?’ Well, I think that applies today more than ever.

So for me, among this newsletter & putting my voice out there and working on new music - I’m also launching a new business soon which is all about helping people. I’ll let you know all about it when it’s ready.

Until next time, remember, two heads are better than one.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”― Paulo Coelho

Starting something new is scary, but exciting. I have no idea where this will take me, or us. All I know is it felt right to finally start sharing my journey (30 years in, ha). I’m trusting that feeling. This will be a key theme in my newsletters aka streams of consciousness going forward. Much has happened so far and i’ve been journaling it for a while now (maybe i’ll divulge some of those thoughts later on..) But for now i’ll just let you know where my heads at. 

I came to the conclusion before my 30th bday last year (dec 3) that in this decade, I will become the full vision I have for myself. The person i’ve been imagining myself to be all these years. You see, I realised ‘you cannot be great in silence, you are, who you communicate yourself to be’. We train and condition people around us to look at us in a certain way, treat us a certain way, based on who we say we are and how we act… and I’m not entirely satisfied with my perception, so, I am going to own it going forward. Now, I wont bore you yet by saying “I WILL BE THIS! I’LL HAVE THAT, BY THE TIME IM 37!” etc.. i’m expecting my actions in real life and this journal to make it all become clear to you over time.

What I will say is I believe we all have tremendous potential, with no bounds, we have more to offer the world than what we have shown/done or expressed so far and there is always more than what meets the eye. I want to uncover that for myself and for you too. I believe in potential and I believe you can and WILL be whatever it is you wish to be.

So, among other things I’m working on, this newsletter is a start of my journey of self actualisation. I promise to dig deep and be open, although it isn’t the most comfortable thing for someone as guarded & private as me. But if it can help you along your journey, I feel it is my duty to share. Thankfully, you have lent me your ears and eyes as an audience and I’m eternally grateful for that.

I don’t know where the path is heading but I trust it will get me to my destination. Let the adventures begin..